The Dance between the Masculine + Feminine Energies
“We are not to sacrifice our strength for our softness, or our softness for our strength.” The Fourfold Way by Angeles Arrien
“You have to get big!” I told the female client who had come out to the ranch to work with the horses. We were standing in the round pen with my mare, Julietta, and I was asking this woman to move her around in a circle. Julietta wouldn’t budge. I love it when this happens! This woman’s slumping posture exhibited her low self-esteem and confidence. She was bound up by her mother’s disapproval of her choice of lifestyle.
I asked her, “Do you have any control over other people’s approval of your choices?” ‘No,’ she sheepishly replied.
‘What if you chose to approve of yourself and your choices, and love others no matter what they think?’ I inquired.
Her eyes lit up, and she stood taller.
I continued, ‘You’ve got to get in touch with your masculine energies of assertiveness and determination.’
‘I don’t know how,’ she replied.
‘Yes you do!’ I challenged. ‘We all have access to these energies, they’re just not familiar to us when we haven’t tapped into them, and that’s what Julietta can help you feel. Horses won’t willingly respond to humans who are not aware of their power. Now, I want you to find that strength inside of you and move this beautiful horse, who is instinctively in touch with her power.’
At first, she was quite fearful. I guided her to notice through Julietta’s behavior, when she was connected to her inner strength, and when she wasn’t. It was so beautiful to witness her shift, resulting in her effortlessly moving Julietta! We worked on it for quite a while in order for her to ground this knowing in her body. She walked out of the round pen elated and full of light.
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Whether we are male or female, we all have access to the magnetic yin feminine energies of intuition, empathy, relationship-building, compassion, expression of emotions, collaboration and patience, that complement the dynamic yang energies of assertiveness, logic, focus, competition, strength, bravado, dominance, directness, and survival. The challenge is to bring our self-awareness to where our masculine and feminine energies are out of balance, and to intentionally practice developing the opposite energy that is needed.
We may be operating from a mindset or belief that blinds us to the negative impact our dominating masculine or feminine energies are having on others. For example, several of my male coaching clients struggle with demonstrating empathy and patience. In order to re-balance, they need to shift their mindset of how they value every human being, and how much they authentically care for others. Personally, I have to practice developing the masculine energies of focus and single-tasking in my professional coaching career as I “put myself out into the world.” It’s not comfortable or easy for me at all. On the other hand, when I work with our horses, I have no trouble demonstrating the masculine energies of strength and assertiveness
It is normal to be stronger in some aspects and weaker in others. Honor where you are and look to understand the mindset that drives your behavior; then make applicable changes to move into balance. Ask your trusted colleagues and friends, “Where are my masculine and feminine energies out of balance?” “What masculine or feminine energy would you like to see me demonstrate?” Even though it may feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable at first, intentionally practicing the masculine or feminine energy that is needed, will counter-balance the energy that is out of balance.
There is so much re-balancing between the masculine and feminine that is needed in this world in order for us to peacefully live together and flourish! Entering into the dance between the masculine and feminine energies enables authentic being and doing; a deeper understanding of our strengths and weaknesses, as well as our gifts and talents.
With love,